Pourquoi la communication

Chacun est différent et unique dès la naissance par son sexe, le lieu de naissance, son éducation, l’âge, ses expériences, son passé…… et de ce fait lorsque nous communiquons les mots n’ont pas la même signification. 

Lorsque j’ écoute, une image, un film se fait aussitôt dans ma tête. Le film qui se rattache à la mémoire, aux émotions rattachées à ces mots…. mais ce n’est pas exactement ce qu’est entrain de m’expliquer mon interlocuteur.

Une incompréhension, une émotion négative et une frustration apparaissent.

Je suis une personne honnête, par conséquent ce que je pense est de valeur et je commence à imaginer et supposer à ma guise. Je ne prends pas conscience que je construis un mensonge sur l’autre, que je suis entrain de me tromper. Comme je suis orgueilleux(se) je suis persuadé(e) que j’ai raison et que l’autre ne comprend rien bien sûr.

Comme nous l’avons déjà vu dans l’article du respect de soi, je dois oser être vrai(e) et communiquer sur mon ressenti, ma compréhension et vérifier ce que je devais vraiment comprendre.

Surtout il ne faut pas pendant que je suis seul(e), imaginer, faire un film du sujet car celui-ci est obligatoirement faux puisqu’il est conçu par mes pensées, mes émotions alors qu’il s’agit de l’autre.

Lorsque je reprends la conversation je dois parler que de MOI, de ce que J’ai compris, ressenti et demander de mieux m’expliquer si ce n’est pas correct.

A aucun moment je n’ai le droit de culpabiliser l’autre sur ses pensées, de le juger, de me moquer, de le ridiculiser, de le rabaisser. Il a droit au respect tout comme moi et la liberté d’être lui. Il ne s’agit qu’une divergence d’opinion et cela appartient à chacun.

Il s’agit de sa vie et comme il est écrit dans d’autres articles : sa vie est un cadeau qu’il a reçu à sa naissance et dont il est le seul maître.

En réalité, le problème dans la communication c’est MOI.

Ce n’est pas un problème que l’autre ne pense pas comme moi. C’est qu’est ce que je pense de moi à la fin de la conversation qui compte. Si je me sens incompris(e), si je n’ai pas confiance en moi, si je ne suis pas équilibré(e)…. c’est pour cela que l’autre me perturbe et me déstabilise.

Je suis dans la liberté, il est dans la liberté donc pas de problème. Personne ne fait mal à personne. Chacun s’occupe de sa vie et fait ce qu’il peut pour aller de l’avant.

J’ai la responsabilité de ma vie et la liberté de choix donc si je ne me sens pas au bon endroit je ne suis pas obligé(e) d’y rester….. et là c’est encore un autre sujet !

Conclusions : travailler sur la confiance en soi, sur le respect de soi et non pas sur l’autre.

Se faire connaître est important : je parle de ce que je ressens, de qui je suis, de ma joie, de ma souffrance, de mes rêves, de mes peurs… de même pour l’autre et ainsi chacun sait qui il a en face sans imaginer, sans se tromper.

Très souvent le fait de partager son ressenti, oser parler vrai, enlève toute incompréhension et amertume et évite le conflit, la frustration, le reproche…. et a pour conséquence une bonne construction de la relation.

L’Amour est présent dans une telle relation et sera préservé si chacun respecte l’autre dans ses choix, ses pensées tout en veillant sur sa propre vie intérieure.

Je t’encourage à apprendre à communiquer, à élargir ton esprit à la compréhension car c’est la clé du bonheur.

Martine Carole  

 

 

 

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